What I Choose to Remind Myself

mental health

Sep 20

Written By Kindall Tyson, M.Ed., LPC, NCC

On a normal day, you are pulled in several directions. Now, in addition to perpetual multitasking, you have the added dilemma of managing your thoughts and emotions about returning to school, COVID, voting, and the general state of the world. Honestly, it can all be quite overwhelming at times when you are trying to maintain a sense of normalcy and balance with a healthy dose of positive outlook.

As the world turns, the days go by, and you attempt to live a meaningful, productive life, I wonder what have been the prevalent thoughts running through your mind? What’s the story that you’ve been telling yourself? I can imagine that we all have a mix of thoughts and feelings right now, considering the state of the world that we live in, and maybe with all the hustle and bustle of life, demands from work, and interpersonal responsibilities, it can be somewhat of a task trying to manage your thoughts..

There are days that seem to run like clockwork-you feel good, you’re encouraged, work goes well, then there are other days where it appears as if nothing goes according to plan. Those are the days you have to dig deep and be intentional about your automatic thoughts that arise. For me, when I sit, reflect, and compare the two experiences, the consistent thing I have noticed is that my day is determined by the type of thoughts I allow to take root in my mind.

Roy T. Bennet states, “Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”

The world swirls with things to be fearful of right now; I often have to remind myself that I am not powerless and have so much control over my life even when it seems like I do not. Below are a few messages that I find it imperative to remind myself of on a consistent basis:

You are not behind. You’re right on time. Run your own race with grace and faith. This one speaks for itself. When times get tough, and you begin to compare yourself and your journey to others, it is so important to put your blinders on and stay focused on yourself and your progress. We all know that comparison is the thief of joy, and the more we are externally focused on other people’s process, the less time we have to focus on our own path, growth, and continued areas of opportunity. Also, do your best to practice continued self-compassion which will help boost your level of acceptance and resilience building skills. There is a specified time for each of us to “arrive” at that proverbial destination, and where you are currently and work that you engage in right now is preparing you for that arrival. Have faith that no matter what your situation appears to be, this is all part of the journey intended to grow you, prepare you, and help you to be more grateful when you time does come.

Trust your gifts. Don’t deprive the world of the knowledge and wisdom you have to share. Someone needs what you have-your skills, your knowledge, your creativity, your coalition building. When you’re dealing with self-doubt, remind yourself of the accomplishments that you’ve been able to accumulate to this point. If it helps, write them down and place them where you are able to see them and review them. Sometimes it takes for you to stumble in order to find your strength. You are skilled, and you have a lot to give the world. Take each opportunity as a chance to hone your gifts and actualize into the best version of yourself. Your gifts will make room for you when you engage in the daily work to sharpen them and when you engage in the daily work to to trust yourself and the process.

Fear is false. Push through it. As aforementioned, your thoughts aren’t always true. Fear has a way of immobilizing us, but it doesn’t have to. The thing that incites fear within you may probably be the item you would benefit from addressing, first. Working with a therapist to help you sort through your fears and not allowing them to become barriers to your success is a route that I will always suggest. Sometimes, a more objective perspective provides the opportunity you need to reframe your fears and use them to fuel your growth.

Why are you doing this again? When times get tough, and you begin to question the process, it can be beneficial to remind yourself of your reasons to engage in the thing that you’re doing. The journey isn’t meant to be a breeze; it is meant to be ripe with learning opportunities and chances to see yourself, authentically, and encourage yourself. When you want to quit, remember that which motivates you. Remember the reasons you chose what you chose. Remind yourself of the small victories you experienced along the way. Never forget what led you to the thing you chose. Write your reasons why down; journal about them; keep them front and center to refresh you as life takes its course.

As you reflect, think about those affirming thoughts that you would benefit from being reminded about? Create a practice that you can incorporate into your day that will allow you to meditate on your why and manifest the reality you desire.

Here’s a thinking strategy for you to practice. It’s called Train Your Morning Thoughts from the CBT Deck.

Write down 3 positive and accurate thoughts that you can read and repeat to yourself before you get out of bed. Practice filling your mind with thoughts that serve you well.

Remember that your thoughts can deceive you.! They can be influenced by your mood, so it’s imperative that you actively engage with yourself and counter those inevitable negative thoughts. I’ll leave you with this reminder…